Birmingham man sues for right to eat his family
Fred Beale, 48, won a landmark case in the High Court today that allows him to eat his “useless family”. To strengthen his case before the judges, he produced several “delicious recipes” for medium...
View ArticleRees-Mogg posed as 84-year-old on Facebook to chat to ‘unsuspecting’ pensioners
The MP for Somerset NE has been cornered in a sting operation by a geriatric vigilante group who set up a fake profile on social media. The lanky reactionary was lured into meeting ‘Sir Crispin...
View ArticleSatan demands inquiry into negative TripAdvisor reviews of Hell
Following complaints from the Devil, an enquiry has been launched into a spate of one-star ratings on TripAdvisor for the venue he has unsuccessfully tried to rebrand as “Chez Satan”. “When I took over...
View ArticleGoogle Drunk to be added to Google Street View
To meet the needs of drinkers frustrated by the lockdown, Google has added an alternative street view where your surroundings heave and sway to mimic the experience of weaving your way home from the...
View ArticleNRA denounces Meghan for taking refuge in gun-free Britain
The National Rifle Association says it’s no coincidence that Meghan Markle “bailed out” of the US as the incidence of spree shooting went up. “We don’t take kindly to people who jump ship”, says NRA...
View ArticleDriving test to include “driving up motorway in wrong direction” part
In an effort to bring the driving test up to date with life in the 21st century, it is to include a knuckle-whitening five miles up a major motorway against the traffic at rush hour. “Let’s face it, it...
View ArticleDinosaurs to make comeback tour
After an absence from public life of over 60 million years, Stegosaurus and Brontosaurus could be roaming the country again soon for a limited period. Celebrity publicist Ed Masp, who claims he has...
View ArticleEmployees who murder their boss ‘more likely to be promoted’
Killing your boss may be a better career move than sucking up to him, a new study by a leading recruitment think tank claims. ‘Anyone seriously interested in advancing their career should be investing...
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